“对我来说,SCA(可能指Society for Creative Anachronism,一种中世纪再现组织)的关键在于庄重和仪式感,”陛下在宣布驱逐行动后的一次采访中表示,“当某些人在法庭的一个部分遮挡的地方擅自发表评论时,确实会削弱其他人的体验。噢,我知道很多人声称喜欢那些评论,但他们只是为了客气。人们真正想要的是一个严肃庄重的法庭。”
Jaws, The SCAllion的法律顾问在讲座中谈到了言论自由以及对在线讽刺作品的现代威胁,并特别提到了 Gonzalez v. Google 以及对《通信廉正法》第230条的可能重新解释。Jaws在结束演讲时发放了一包鲨鱼软糖,口感可疑地像保守派的眼泪。
尽管只有为该组织工作的作家、编辑和研究人员, The SCAllion 被邀请参加研讨会的只有该组织的作家、编辑和研究人员,但主编宣布,明年的会议邀请将扩大至该组织的部分顶级粉丝。 SCAllion FB page, and then provided a link 读者可以了解如何申请参加研讨会的方式。
BARONY OF POLITARCHOPOLIS, LOCHAC — Chaos erupted at a small feast in Politarchopolis this week, as one of the diners was removed from the hall by the Baronial guard from the Barony of Ynys Fawr. It is understood that the gentle in question has been accused of crimes against the small island Barony’s navy.
The gentle in question, Burghermeister Jack the Hungry, made the following statement as he was being escorted from the feasting hall: “My lords, my ladies, this is feudalism manifest. Have a look at the pike-work here, I see that you know your Talhoffer well,” before demanding that those around him not touch any of his peanuts — though he later described the peanuts as “limp”.
On his exit, he complimented the parts of the feast which he was able to sample, describing it as a “succulent Politarchopolan meal”.
The captain of the Ynys Fawr Baronial Guard, Lord Harald inn Heill, told The SCAllion that the charges against Burghermeister Jack are related to a number of deficiencies in a ship that he sold to the Ynys Fawr Naval Squadron. “I suppose the biggest problem with the ship is that the prow fell off.
Admiral Angharad Crwban, head of the Ynys Fawr Naval Squadron, released a statement saying, “How long may she float with ships like this? It seems to have been made largely of cardboard and cardboard derivatives, and as a result 20 Ynys Fawr sailors were dumped into the sea.”
BARONY OF ADIANTUM, AN TIR — Kingdom and branch seneschals are left scrambling to undertake no end of damage control today, after a dispute between two members of the Order of the Chivalry culminated in a gruesome incident during the closing court for the Egil Skallgrimson Memorial Prize Tourney, or “Egil’s”.
At the center of the dispute is local fighter, Jǫrundr Narfason, an up-and-comer in the An Tir tournament circuit. Since he began fighting last year, Narfason has been noted to have developed informal coaching relationships with both Sir William Molyneux of Hastings and Jarlskona Guðríðr Fritjofsdottir. It has been widely assumed that Narfason would be taken as a squire by either one or the other before the end of the year.
As predicted, Sir William requested and was granted time during the closing court to announce his intention to take Narfason as his squire. Before the knight had finished his declaration, he was interrupted by Jarlskona Guðríðr, who angrily declared her intention to do the same. Onlookers reported that Narfason appeared “green around the gills” at this point. Their majesties did their best to smooth the dispute over with schtick, but the two knights were having none of it, calling for their swords and drowning out the protests of the Kingdom Earl Marshal.
Finally, His Majesty was struck by what can only be referred to as Not His Best Idea. An infrequent church-goer who is known among his fellow brethren for not having an attention span long enough to hear the point of the biblical parables, the king suggested that they look to the wisdom of Solomon in deciding who would take Narfason as squire. King Solomon, famed for his wisdom, once settled a dispute over a baby between two women, both of whom claimed to be the baby’s mother. Solomon responded by suggesting that they split the baby right down the middle and each woman could have half of the child. Not being familiar with the end of the story (in which the solution proved unnecessary) and the potential ramifications for Narfason, both Sir William and Jarlskona Guðríðr agreed to this solution. Jǫrundr Narfason, was not consulted and subsequently had to be restrained by his potential squire brothers from both knights.
When His Majesty, known for being a vocal proponent of following through immediately and the “Deeds, not Words” philosophy, demanded the Sword of State. As the Kingdom Seneschal brought him up to speed on the consequences of the proposal, His Majesty was seen to also go “green around the gills.” However, keeping true to his philosophy by proving his resolve through deed, the King made an unsuccessful attempt to follow through. Jǫrundr Narfason’s managed to evade the attempt, leaving everyone else relieved at the lack of necessary paperwork.
After the close of that disastrous court, it is reported that Sir William and Jarlskona Guðríðr decided to let bygones be bygones by going out for lunch together after leaving the site. Witnesses say that when the bill arrived, Sir William suggested they go halvsies, to which Jarlskona Guðríðr replied: “Too soon, dude.”
Friends report that Jǫrundr Narfason is on the mend and is expected to make a full, albeit slow, recovery. His doctors have declined to comment on his current condition or his ability to pass along the noble name of Narfason.
His Majesty has been suspended, pending investigations by both the local authorities and the Board of Directors, while Her Majesty has graciously agreed to finish out the remainder of their royal commitments single handedly.
Rumour has it that there is a growing vocal contingent advocating for the Solomonic solution to replace the buffet – a move that has surprised absolutely no one.
BARONY OF I’ÎLE DU DRAGON DORMANT, TIR MARA, EAST – Heirs of the East, Princesses Melodie and Jade, have announced that the only awards for their reign will be non-polling only. The announcement comes after the Heirs’ revealed that the first 4 months of polling discussions broke both their email boxes and their sanity. When reached for comment by The SCAllion, Princess Melodie, KSCA stated that “No seated royal should have to deal with this level of absolute chaos during their reign.”
“There are plenty of ways to recognize good people and their service without having to deal with committee discussions for any award we want to give out. I have to deal with business by committee enough in the real world, this is just too much.” said Princess Jade, OL, OP, OD.
The announcement caused a firestorm on each of the East’s twelve polling order email lists. (No satire here, the East has twelve polling orders.) The lists stopped processing emails entirely after four hours. The SCAllion reached out to the East Kingdom Webministry, who provide the space for the mailing lists. When our call was answered we could only hear eldritch screams and distant fire alarms.
The East Kingdom’s College of Scribes are celebrating the move as they will finally catch six months of breathing room to explore other arts, as they anticipate only half the number of scrolls as usual for a reign. When The SCAllion noted that the Order of the Rose is a polling order in the East, Her Highness Jade stated “If Our heirs want to poll me for the Rose, fine. I’m a triple peer in my own right and in my mind, this decision should make me a shoo-in for the Rose anyway.”
BARONY OF STERNFELD, THE MIDDLE – Shocked and horrified onlookers were forced to witness a spectacle never before seen in a Crown Tournament final this past weekend: Both competitors fought to what they decided was a “Draw” and mutually agreed to decide the outcome by increasingly harder cup shots, with only one left standing at the end, though likely irreparably damaged.
The finals, to be decided between Duke Fritz von Schmetterlingstrosse and newcomer and baby knight Sir Malcom Blakehalloc, were fought to an ugly draw when neither combatant could hit the other with a shot hard enough for the other to accept, with each claiming the other “just wasn’t getting there”. After a brief pause in the action, the two met alone at the center of the list and, after a short discussion, they threw down their shields and announced their intent to the marshals and populace. When the marshals approached the Crown, King Steffan Panzerschreck declared “I’ll allow it,” and the grim spectacle went on.
Each competitor hit the other firmly in the cup with increasingly more powerful shots, and more than a dozen spectators either passed out, vomited, or both, during the match. Local EMS was called, not for the finalists, but for the populace forced to witness the terrifying display. When asked for comment, the general consensus among the populace was something along the lines of “I mean, we really don’t want either of them reproducing, but this might be a little extreme, even for the Chiv.”
No word yet if the variance in the determination of the winner was allowed per the community standards.
BARONY OF SKRAELING ALTHING, EALDORMERE – Local Barony member Launslote du Letch was inducted into the brand new Ordre de l’Escalier Manquant by Her Majesty Ruxandra Zabellyska of Ealdormere. Since he did not have an Award of Arms, Launslote was thrilled with his new status, as he believed inclusion in the order automatically conferred an AoA. The Queen did not disabuse him of the notion.
In an exclusive interview with The SCAllion, Her Majesty said, “We’ve had problems with du Letch for years. He has caused several uncomfortable situations with femme and non-binary members of my kingdom, but his behavior usually does not cross the line into a reportable offense, and when it does, his victims are too traumatized or frightened to report it. Unfortunately, Launslote is a member of Duke Bedyvere Brasenhed’s household and calling out a friend of the Once and Future King is seen as politically problematic for a lot of vulnerable people.”
The Ordre de l’Escalier Manquant is a new award for the Kingdom and does not confer any precedence. Meistari Bosi Englandsfari, the Principal Herald of Ealdormere explained how the award came to be, “Before she was a peer, Ruxandra never received an explicit confirmation from the Kingdom Seneschal as to whether the SCAdian who had attacked her at a camping event had been officially reprimanded or if he faced any repercussions. Because she felt the “business side” of the Society never supported her and due to various other incidents she and I have observed in our 20+ years in the SCA, at her Curia she created this new order, the Ordre de l’Escalier Manquant. The award recipients are receiving appropriate recognition for actions and behaviors below the threshold of action for the ‘business side’, but she has also created a way for others to recognize those who may exhibit problematic behaviors.”
“Marginalized people usually have a way of communicating about bad actors,” Queen Ruxandra said tiredly. “The Kingdom’s policies about secrecy make it hard to protect ourselves. Since they will be listed in the Kingdom OP, I just made it easier to figure out who they are.”
Princess Quiteria Cerrada, the Queen’s heir, seeing the success of the new Order has vowed to create an additional order called the “Ordre de l‘Escalier Cassé” as a step down for the recipients of the previous award. “Let them think they are getting a Grant of Arms,” Princess Quiteria said, “I am tired of creepers being a part and parcel of The Dream.” The Ordre de l’Escalier Cassé comes with a banishment from the presence unless a higher level banishment is currently in force.
Do you have a burning question about a situation that happened in the SCA and want to ask Goody? You can write to Goody at this form. Questions may be truncated for publication, and submitted questions may not be answered.
Dear Goody, I pride myself on being a feast cook who makes sure no one goes home hungry from anything I cook, and I make sure that the posted menu always says “the cook begs that you tell them about food sensitivities so that they can accommodate at [email].” A couple of weeks ago, someone complained after feast that they couldn’t eat anything but dessert. I posted the menu over a month in advance, I asked people to email me about food issues. This person didn’t talk to me beforehand or even at the event – they complained to my servers. And with their stated food issues, they should have been able to eat everything but the dessert. It hurts me that I had someone go home hungry, is there anything else I could have done? -Compulsive Cook
Dear Cook,
You are an incredibly careful and considerate cook who goes above and beyond to feed your diners, even if they have difficulties with various ingredients. What you are not is a mind reader or omniscient deity of food who can rain down precise nectar and ambrosia. You are doing all that you should and then some, but it is not your problem if an attendee cannot take responsibility for themselves.
Our volunteer culture often lavishes the most remarkable foods and best service upon our SCA diners. However, there are those who repeatedly forget that they are getting an incredible meal for less than $20 a person, and that no one making or serving the meal is being paid for their work. As a cook, you do not work for these people. Rather, you create an experience of flavor and time and culture with your body, mind and soul and at the end most will be thankful, but there’s always ‘those people’ who will bitch.
If anyone complains to your servers about food, remind them that they are not in a resturaunt. If they still have complaints, give them their allotment of food on a tray and ask them to excuse themselves so everyone else can continue enjoying the meal. They aren’t paying you. They aren’t tipping your servers. They are not going to blast your business on Yelp. Just boot them.
Personal responsibility, care, consideration and manners are for everyone, not just event staff.
Hope this helps,
-Goody Advice
Dear Goody, I’m an Olympic level fencer. Been playing about 8 months or so, mainly while serving as Queen’s Champion. I got authorized during the week before that event. My question: I should be expecting to be made a MoD at step down, right? -Mighty Sword
Dear Mighty,
Mighty may be the sword, but mightier is the pen so please, read closely. Your prowess is delightful. It really is. Everyone is quite impressed by it. However, prowess and fighting does not (or should not) a Peer make. If this were just about sword prowess, you would still be standing in an echoing gymnasium full of white jacketed fencers or an empty field of sweaty and dusty fighters with sticks of rattan. However, you chose this medieval club and want to become a member of its highest awarded ranks.
A Peer must possess prowess in their primary form (fighting, art or service) but also be an adept leader who understands the SCA on a deeper level. Peers should know how to negotiate the Society’s requirements and needs to make local groups, events and Kingdoms happen. Otherwise, there is no SCA. Peers are often called up to hold offices and run events when others are unable or unwilling. So are the people who should be Peers, but that is for other advice.
Peers should teach. Without moving their primary form to the next generation of the Society, a person has merely been a bright flash. What we need is small fires that are kindled and added to, expanding into communities with teaching and inclusion. Peers start things that grow and take root, changing the SCA. This is often the path to peerage, not just the role of a Peer.
Peers must also be known. Your renown in prowess, leadership and training others in these fields should take your name far beyond you local group. This does not require a constant spotlight, but it does mean a bit of time and not being a dick. Consider that as you move forward in the Society and meet new people. You are constantly creating an impression and that memory will follow you for many years to come.
So no, you will likely not be a MOD at the upcoming event. Hopefully you now have a better understanding of what the populace, peerages and Crown will be looking for in you and can move forward with a deeper understanding.
Hope this helps,
-Goody Advice
Dear Goody, I came out to my SCA friends as being trans and with that came a change in pronouns. That was several years ago, but I keep getting people insisting that my pronouns are the ones they think I should use. I’m tearing my hair out and about to sell off my gear and start raising goats in my backyard. How do I deal with people who don’t respect who I am? -They
Dear They,
Individuals can legally change their last names when they get married and SCAdians sometimes change names and personas like the seasons. If your ‘friends’ cannot try, and try hard, to address you correctly, then are ‘they’ the sort of friends who ‘you’ should put your trust, care, effort and time into? Of course, people will make mistakes and slip up. I bet you understand that and are kind to them, even if you have to clench your jaw a bit.
Moving to they/them pronouns seems to be especially hard for many people to grasp because they have little experience with not gendering a person or, it can be linguistically awkward at first. Still, these are small barriers to break through. The issue of properly addressing a friend, no matter the name or pronoun comes down to being a good, kind and thoughtful friend. If someone wants to change, they can but may need help. If they ask for help, try to be lenient and teach. If someone does not want to change, well, it does become a bit glaringly obvious, no?
Make the choices that are best for ‘you’, not for ‘them’ even if it may mean a few less ‘friends’. To be very honest, in the end you will still have precisely the same number of friends. It will just be more obvious.
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